growth.

Hi everyone! I miss you all and I am jealous of your hot weather...
It will be winter soon, and the mountain tops are already laced with snow. It's gorgeous, but also gloomy...

 So, I'm just going to dive right into this.
Where have I been the last few weeks? What have I been doing?
I feel like there's so much to say and I don't know where to begin.
I have been asking God for a few things this month and lately I'm seeing Him starting to work on those things in my life.
I have been living with this feeling deep in my soul; an aching thirst for more.
It had been this lingering dissatisfaction in my heart that was disguised as emptiness and loneliness.
For the past few months I have been dying for more of God but could not find a way to get to Him.
I felt like I was swimming through jello trying to get to God's heart.

 My whole life I've walked in confidence. I always liked who God made me, I knew what He thought of me, I wasn't afraid to be different.
This past season of my life I felt that this confidence I once walked in was stripped away.
I have been struggling with comparing, not feeling worthy, not feeling smart or cool enough, and just feeling discouraged.
Honestly, it has been a sticky spot.
I haven't been happy. The joy I have walked in my entire life hasn't been present.
I've been questioning so much about life in general and what it looks like to truly have fun and live life to the fullest.
I have been asking God for growth/opportunities to learn, for Him to reawaken dreams, and for me to learn how to abide in Him again.

This past year has been one that has rushed me into adulthood.
I realized that with letting go of my childhood, I have also been letting my childlike heart go.
 It is so important to keep a tight grip on childlikeness. Like a child looks to their daddy for affirmation and approval, for love and identity, so we should always look to our Father for those things.
Children don't have to understand it all. They trust their parents to take care of them and know they are free to have fun. They don't get caught up in the silly little details of life and they DREAM big! They easily believe the impossible to be possible.
I want my heart to be like that, always.

The past few weeks have been the start of staff training for new base staff and the snowboarders staff.
I have learned so much and have been soaking up the teachings like a sponge. It has been very refreshing to sit and learn for hours and hours about leadership. The speakers have been pulling out the many different aspects that make up my personality, allowing me to get to know myself in ways I didn't know I was missing. It has been so helpful to me, to know exactly how God made me and be aware of what my strengths and weaknesses are, especially in leadership and community living. It has opened up many doors for growth in learning to communicate my feelings and opinions. I am learning that voicing my thoughts more often is actually rewarding and people need to hear my perspective on things.
It was hard, at first, being the only introverted person in my group. I was constantly battling the lies of satan telling me being different is a bad thing and no one really understands me. It was getting exhausting.
Now I'm realizing the power of speaking out how I feel and asking for help in areas of weakness.
After talking with some friends about these things, I felt so encouraged and the weight of those lies were lifted off of me.

The Lord is beginning to answer my prayers. I am growing every day. My joy is returning. I am hungry to learn more, to dream more, to know Him more.

It has been quite a journey so far. I am looking forward to growing more and seeing what else God has in store for me while I'm here serving.

The next month will be crazy for sure. The Snowboard DTS will begin and the base will once again be busy with fiery young people.

That being said, I have prayer requests!!!

Please pray for:

*the new students coming in. pray for preparation of hearts and a fruitful season!
*this nation, New Zealand, that revival would happen here. that eyes and hearts would be open to receive Him, that God's presence would reign in this place, that it would be filled with NEW ZEAL!
*some people i live with are going through pretty rough times in their life. pray for the Lord to meet them where they're at and that I could be an instrument that He uses to bless them.

*my spiritual growth--that i would continue to put my relationship with Him first.
*spiritual discipline--an area i'm not so strong in but desire to have more of!

*I'm trying to work out the details to visit my dad in Australia while he's there in July. It hasn't been near as easy as I thought it would be and I'm really wanting to be with him for a little while.

*I'm homesick!!! Anyone want to come visit me?! :)


THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!